Winners and Losers: The "Maybe We Don't Suck That Much," Edition

Alight, so it's been a while, but with the holidays we got a little lazy here at Two For Slashing. Nevertheless, we are back and better than ever-which isn't hard to accomplish when previously god awful. Still, we have almost a month of winners and losers... and, unlike the NHL, there are some ties this time around. Get ready for the ride of your life!


Loser-The Rulebook

So, if you'll recall (which you probably won't) the first "Monday's Moral" blog directly referenced Chris Pronger intentionally dropping his stick in order to draw a penalty. Well, it seems the rest of the league is catching on. Sticks are being dropped left and right and the "automatic slashing penalty for stick-on-stick contact" needs to change. As does the "delay of game" but that's for another time.

Losers-Winter Classic Attendees
The winter classic is approaching with a 70% chance of rain. Two Drexel Students are riding a tandem bike to the Boston. It sure would suck if it rained on their parade. Good news is, no matter what the weather is, the ice will be better than that at Nassau Colloseum

Winners-New York Rangers named Marian Gaborik

What the hell happened to this guy? Currently tied for the NHL lead in goals with some dude named Alex, Gabby has been setting the league on fire. He's always been a "if he stays healthy" type players. Still, this pace is incredible even for a player of his talent. Now, imagine if he had anyone else on that team who could score.

Tie guys-The Fly Guys

Well, most would list the Flyers as "losers" over the past month.... I'm not one of them. Most will say it's becasue I'm a "Flyers Homer" or "wishfully thinking" or "a complete and utter jackass." Tomato-Potato, really

Still, it can't be ignored that the Flyers have recently started putting together good efforts (I cite the Boston game as the turnaround). While, the last 3 wins haven't been against the creme de la creme, it is important to note that they are still NHL teams with NHL talent. No win should be scoffed at and 3 straight to a struggling team does a lot to climbing out of the hole created by lackluster play.

Losers-Columbus Blue Jackets

So much for Steve Mason being the best goalie ever to live. What did I say about blue-chip prospects playing for Ken Hitchcock again? Was it that he ruins them? Yeah, well, it appears he's done it again.

Winner-Me

My last bold prediction (in the 11/17/09 posting) stated that the Blue Jackets would fall... Don't worry, I'll be making more predictions and keeping track

Right now I'm 1-0

Bold Prediction

The Philadelphia Flyers will be comfortably
(by which I mean by at least 6 points)in a playoff playoff position By February 4th

Coming up: New Years Resolutions


Have a good day
--TFS

New Years Resolutions

So, it's that time of year again. No, not the time that I finally get back on the computer after a long turkey-induced coma-it's time for resolutions. Some of your favorite players have a lot of changing to do... Without further ado, here are the top 10 (in no order) resolutions


Evgeni Nabokov- "Finally teach everyone how to spell my name correctly without citing Malkin."

Rick DiPietro- "Kick this injury bug without pulling groin."


Peter Laviolette-"Make angrier faces and scare children."

Peter Forsberg- "1) Fix foot 2) Don't break everything else in my body."


Sidney Crosby- "Finally figure out where this whole rumor of me joining the Canadian Olympic diving team came from."


Ron Tugnutt- Convince Rick DiPietro, Marian Gaborik, and Martin Havlat to join comedy troup called Tugged Nutz. Go on tour with top joke being as follows

Havlat: I know a man with a wooden leg named "Smith"
Gaborik: What's the name of his other leg?

Comedy gold

Alex Semin- "Put the capitals on my back for a long march into the playoffs without breaking it."

Anze Kopitar- "Get believable prosthesis to replace wooden leg."

Dion Phaneuf- Finally finish "See Spot Run"

Daniel and Henrik Sedin "Get really good at half the subjects in school and take eachother's tests. Get straight A's and have mom and dad buy that sweet Honda they promised us if we got straight A's. Ask Cindy Anderson and Mary Libowska to homecoming."

Bold Prediction(s)


Phoenix gets gives up 3+ goals in a loss

The Ducks will be in the playoffs by the olympic break

Monday's Moral: Unfair is Fair

Every Monday I'll examine the latest outcries in the NHL or a derivative thereof. This week we examine blown calls and lack of accountability


The Headline?

Disallowed Goals Alter the Outcome of Games

The Story?

This past week two games were decided (or their outcomes were altered deeply) by blown calls. In each game the puck clearly crossed the goal line but because there was either "inconclusive evidence"-which there wasn't- or the ref had "intended" to blow the whistle-which he didn't-each goal was disallowed. Again, I will reiterate, in BOTH OF THESE GAMES those disallowed goals would have altered the outcome and provided the team scoring with a win. Still, is there good reason for the fans of these teams to be a pissed as they have been?


The Moral?
Unfair is fair, but stupid isn't


The Point?
OK, let's look at this from a purely mathematical standpoint. Referee's are human, they are not going to get the call right 100% of the time. In any given night a ref is faced with, literally, hundreds of decisions about what call should be made or not made. Now, what if Referee's, like goalies, had a correct call%. For the sake of argument we'll say they operate at around 95%. That means that of any 20 calls 1 is likely to be incorrect. Now, what that means is that EVERY team gets screwed over. Not every one will be as bad as a disallowed goal, but sometimes it is. And sometimes, a bad call which puts a team down a man with 1 minute to go is just as bad. The point is, folks, that every team gets screwed out of numerous opportunities to score. And while a sure goal being disallowed certainly stings more. 5 powerplays not called for a team that operates at 20% provides, on average, the same result-a goal disallowed.

The Solution?

My major issue with these calls is not that the goals were disallowed it's that there were rules in place to allow them to be disallowed. Confusing? Damn right it is. Lookit, there is too much that needs to be done to overturn a no goal call. There will always be mad scrambles on these plays and obstructed views. But if a glove is in the goal, and the puck is in the glove, is the goal disallowed because we can't see the puck? Let's not be stupid about this. Does the "no goal" call stand because the ref intended to blow the whistle? I intended to be an Fireman when I was 5. Does that mean I can start axing doors and using a firetruck as my main means of transportation. According to the NHL, it does. Unfair can be fair (especially when dealing with blown calls-which happens to everyone over a 82 game season), but stupidity is an entirely different story.

Overlooked Awards and Their Likely Winners

Here is a list of awards which, for some reason, have been completely overlooked by the league of national hockey players as well as the league of nations and the odds on favorites for each award at this point in the year.

Jim Carey Award- Odds On Favorite: Carey Price

This award goes to the player who best exemplifies the ability to be an absolutely incredible goaltender for one season early in his career and then just implode. Now, I'm not willing to say Price is cooked yet. However, the true spirit of the award is for someone who "exemplifies" those capabilities, not necessarily achieves them and price has certainly has shown the ability to implode.

HM: Steve Mason


Alexander Daigle Award-Favorite: Nikita Filatov

This award is not given to the player who best exemplifies the ability to be taken in the top 10 of a draft and then eventually fade out with the team that drafted him. Now, I think Filatov will have a long and illustrious career. Just not with a Ken Hitchcock coached team.

HM: Gilbert Brule, Any draft pick that ever played for Ken Hitchcock... ever

Davey Jones Peg Leg Award-Odds On Favorite: Anze Kopitar

Now, again, I'm fully aware that Anze Kopitar has 2, fully functional legs. But come on, if one player in the NHL only had one leg it would be Kopitar, right? Maybe not. Just think about it.

HM: Any player whose name sounds pirate-y

Pavel Bure Back-checking award-Odds On Favorite: Jason Blake

This award is given to the player who best exemplifies a clear hatred or inability in the field of backchecking. If the puck is in their zone it's pretty much a 5 on 4.

HM:Daniel Briere

Wendel Clark Award for Best Moustache-Odds on Favorite: George Parros

Make no mistake, that is one glorious 'stache.


Mikael Handzus Award for Silliest Hair- Odds On Favorite: Scott Hartnell*

'Nuff said

HM: Noone, his hair is THAT silly
*The irony is not lost on me that Handzus is not even an "HM" for an award named after him whilst he is still active



Al Iafrete award for hair that makes me the saddest when I imagine my future-Odds on Favorite: Mark Recchi

'Nuff sad ---> :-(

HM: Any NHL player who's hair reminds me that my childhood heroes are mortal.



Well, there you have it, the list of awards not formally recognized by the NHL. Ones that, by all accounts, should be. It is, in my expert opinion, the biggest travesty in professional sports that Scott Hartnell's hair is not universally recognized as silly.

--TFS

Winners and Losers 11/17/09 edition

A few times a week I will break down the biggest winners and losers of the past few days. Here is the latest version of winners and losers

Winner-Ray Emery

I REALLY wanted the flyers to hold on to Biron in the offseason. I thought that his very respectable numbers were laregly deflated by last year's swiss cheese defense. I thought Ray Emery was too much of a question mark behind what would be the flyers' best defensive core in recent memory. Ray Emery has proven me to be a complete moron because he continues has been one of the top goalies in the league. His athleticism is something we haven't seen in goal since pre-groin explosion Hextall. Emery is a special goalie-crazy or not and The Flyers are damn lucky to have him.

EDIT: Esche may have been more athletic than Emery. But I was too busy looking at the gigantic rebounds he gave up to accurately analyze

Losers-Boston Bruins

The Bruins have been awful. They are likely to barely squeak into the playoffs a year after running away with the east and losing to a low seed in the playoffs. They will be the 2nd team from their division to suck directly after winning the east (see:08-09 Canadiens)

Loser-JS Giguere
Jean Sebastian Giguere sucks. He used to be good... but he's not anymore. Don't draft him in your hockey pool... Unless giving up 4 goals a game is rewarded. He's got so much talent but it seems he can't deal with being the backup to Hiller. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for him... But the team that I keep hearing about is the Leafs... So, yeah, he'll still have awful numbers


Winner-Anze Kopitar
Anze Kopitar is leading the league in scoring despite having only 1 leg.*

Losers-Anyone who still thinks Vinny Lecavalier will save their team
Did you hear that Vinny Lecavalier could be going to the Canadiens? Yeah, me either... But, did you hear that he's a talented, underachieving Quebecois on an underachieving team who is unhappy with his diminishing role despite bringing most of the misfortune upon himself? Yeah, that sounds about right...


Bold Prediction
The blue jackets will fall back to mediocrity sooner rather than later. Remember this so you can throw it in my face when I'm wrong

--TFS
*Anze Kopitar has 2 legs but, come on, admit you just googled "Anze Kopitar 1 leg"

Monday's Moral-Two For Slashing

The Headline?

This Just In: Chris Pronger is Awesome.


The Story?

In this past Saturday's game against the Buffalo Angry Slugs, The Philadelphia Flyers were getting absolutely destroyed by penalties with the lion's share coming from slashes due to sticks breaking. It seemed that every time two sticks met one would break and a Flyer would be in the box. Then, something awesome happened... Midway through the 1st... or 2nd, (doesn't matter) on a Sabre's power play, Chris Pronger took some random player into the boards along the flyers blue line. I don't remember who that player was and, again, for the purposes of this story, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that the unnamed player turned around and swiped at the shaft of Chris Pronger's stick with about as much force as.... well... something that isn't very forceful at all.

Pronger then dropped his stick, threw his hands in the air and drew the penalty-two for slashing

The Moral?


If your stick makes contact with someone else's you're liable to spend 2 minutes in the box.

The point?

These automatic penalties are getting completely out of hand. Aside from delay of game penalties, there is a distinct gray area called "intent" that is being completely disregarded with these slash rulings. There is a marked difference between a tap, stick lift and a slash. The "smoking gun" rule of a broken stick punishes the consequence and not the action-something which is backwards. And now there's going to be the possible automatic penalty for a hit to the head? Well Dany Briere's trade value just went through the friggin roof because well, every hit on him is a hit to the head. The point, folks, is that the action should be the main criterium for issuing a penalty and/or suspension and the result should be secondary; not the other way around

The Solution?

Believe it or not, those guys that skate around with those neato shirts, you know, the ones with the slimming stripes on them. Well, apparently those guys are paid to make decisions about what is and what isn't a penalty. Who woulda thunk it? So maybe, just maybe we should let those guys, who get paid to use their noggins, actually use their noggins. Because, well, long story short, the rules are a lot like a hockey stick-most of the time it doesn't take a friggin genius to figure out when they've been broken

--TFS

Expect Very Little Out of Me

Let me get one thing out of the way, right away:

When you read this blog expect to be disappointed, just flat out disappointed. If you are looking for in depth analysis of players' skills, game scores, and hockey insight then look no further. If you are looking for anything close to good or accurate then you've come to the wrong place.


Enjoy reading this piece of crap
--TFS